Did you know that “to judge” has no contrary? It has plenty of synonyms, but not a true opposite. And did you know it comes from jus-dico? Literally I speak the law, I pronounce the sentence.
More, did you know that, according to some studies, gossip is at the base (well, among the bases) of the developement of language? I guess that winters in caves, working animal skins were pretty long and boring…
I confess that some years ago I used to check regularly Perez Hilton… You start with a news here and there, then you enjoy real time updates about Burton’s next movie, and in no time you’ve developed an addiction.
And it all points to…? You’ll ask.
A moment please! I’m gettin there! I’ll answer.
Gossip itself is a little thing, we all do or did it, and in some way when you’re talking about a friend who couldn’t be there and someone is telling you why he couldn’t, well that’s gossip too.
The thing is that there is gossip that can ruin someone’s life (try to imagine spreading the gossip that that coworker is a stalker… poor him!), but to keep this simple without dramatic examples, gossip backfires.
You know that people say you shouldn’t care for what people think. You know it, you should do it… but actually managing to it’s not that easy: we live plonged in people since we were born, and willing or not is since we were born that what others think about us affects us (they have an influence on the way we see… ourselves!)
Gettin rid of these effects and influences is good, it requires time but it’s possible: I think I’ve already stated on this blog that the fact that your mother thinks you’d look better with shorter hair doesn’t actually make it shorter, and that your opinion is as worthy as hers (or anyone’s else), and the best way to achieve this goal is to prove with your actions that what you think is worth it.
But how can we get rid of other people’s judgments if we’re the first in line spreading them? How can we get rid of the effect that “What’s wrong with your hair” has on us, if we’re the first ones muttering “Oh em gee, what had she in mind?” when we see someone’s picture?
To me is crystal clear that if our brain is so automatic in sentencing whenever it can, then it’s also crystal clear that it will be offended as soon as it receives sentences alike.
And all these sentences are but a bunch of “heard say” and “common thought”, and while there’s nothing wrong with the will of being part of something, be accepted and participate, heck, it’s the very core of society!, if you listen carefully how those judgments go, you’ll hear something like this: “Oh my gawd, look at that, I would be so ashamed!”. I would be so ashamed, because evidently that one doesn’t, and most of all: I would be ashamed because I think it’s ridiculus, therefore I think that if I had the guts to do that others will laugh to me because I am laughing about that.
I stopped reading gossip sites when I realized that my reactions were more bitchy and touchy.
And I have to admit that since I stopped, I feel so much better, I get offended really really hardly and I find it really difficult to say things “oh look at her, what’s she wearing???”, better when I hear things like that my usual response is something along these lines “If she likes it, what’s your problem with it?”. I know, I’m annoying 😛
(This doesn’t mean I like anything I see, but at least I don’t think that my taste should be a universal law 😉 ).
What about you? Troubles with gossip? Ways to get rid of it? Tell me, tell me!
More, did you know that, according to some studies, gossip is at the base (well, among the bases) of the developement of language? I guess that winters in caves, working animal skins were pretty long and boring…
I confess that some years ago I used to check regularly Perez Hilton… You start with a news here and there, then you enjoy real time updates about Burton’s next movie, and in no time you’ve developed an addiction.
And it all points to…? You’ll ask.
A moment please! I’m gettin there! I’ll answer.
Gossip itself is a little thing, we all do or did it, and in some way when you’re talking about a friend who couldn’t be there and someone is telling you why he couldn’t, well that’s gossip too.
The thing is that there is gossip that can ruin someone’s life (try to imagine spreading the gossip that that coworker is a stalker… poor him!), but to keep this simple without dramatic examples, gossip backfires.
You know that people say you shouldn’t care for what people think. You know it, you should do it… but actually managing to it’s not that easy: we live plonged in people since we were born, and willing or not is since we were born that what others think about us affects us (they have an influence on the way we see… ourselves!)
Gettin rid of these effects and influences is good, it requires time but it’s possible: I think I’ve already stated on this blog that the fact that your mother thinks you’d look better with shorter hair doesn’t actually make it shorter, and that your opinion is as worthy as hers (or anyone’s else), and the best way to achieve this goal is to prove with your actions that what you think is worth it.
But how can we get rid of other people’s judgments if we’re the first in line spreading them? How can we get rid of the effect that “What’s wrong with your hair” has on us, if we’re the first ones muttering “Oh em gee, what had she in mind?” when we see someone’s picture?
To me is crystal clear that if our brain is so automatic in sentencing whenever it can, then it’s also crystal clear that it will be offended as soon as it receives sentences alike.
And all these sentences are but a bunch of “heard say” and “common thought”, and while there’s nothing wrong with the will of being part of something, be accepted and participate, heck, it’s the very core of society!, if you listen carefully how those judgments go, you’ll hear something like this: “Oh my gawd, look at that, I would be so ashamed!”. I would be so ashamed, because evidently that one doesn’t, and most of all: I would be ashamed because I think it’s ridiculus, therefore I think that if I had the guts to do that others will laugh to me because I am laughing about that.
I stopped reading gossip sites when I realized that my reactions were more bitchy and touchy.
And I have to admit that since I stopped, I feel so much better, I get offended really really hardly and I find it really difficult to say things “oh look at her, what’s she wearing???”, better when I hear things like that my usual response is something along these lines “If she likes it, what’s your problem with it?”. I know, I’m annoying 😛
(This doesn’t mean I like anything I see, but at least I don’t think that my taste should be a universal law 😉 ).
What about you? Troubles with gossip? Ways to get rid of it? Tell me, tell me!
Gossip is a tricky one, I gossip with my friends (and it's general chat, as opposed to meaness)however I weaned myself away from gossip sites for the same reason as you. I think it depends on you as a person, if you are a 'live and let live' person, your gossip won't be malsicious.
Agreed!
I'm no saint, I hope it was clear from what I've written: gossiping happens, it's normal, it's a social bounding, the point is -in fact- to just keep it cheerful!