Disclaimer: they look very simple, they may make you feel silly. Though, they’re useful.
First of all: what is an affirmation? It’s simply a phrase, written in present tense, with positive words, built up to help you get what you want.
I.E. “I am a great bellydancer” is an affirmation, it’s present, it’s positive (which means that it has a positive sense and also that it avoids “no” and “don’t”) and it helps you believe in yourself in your process.
If you notice you’re saying things as if you already “own” them.
What’s the tricky part then?
The trick (a-ha 😉 is that you have to find what works best for yourself.
Let’s stay on the bellydance example: let’s suppose it’s something you want to do, you can obviously use the affirmation I wrote above.
But if it sounds just plain to you it won’t work. You need something that rings a bell in yourself.
You may exagerate! What about “I am an awesome bellydancer!” “I am as smooth as a smoothie when I move” “Oh gosh! I am suck a kickass bellydancer!!!”. Anything that works for you is fine (side note: I like the last one! I use affirmations to be more self-confident, I know, it sounds cheesy, but hey! it helps!).
You may feel silly while repeating these sentences to yourself, you can say it to the mirror, you can say it out loud, you can think it over and over again (though actually speaking those words is really useful!).
For the record, a bad example of affirmation is: “I want to be a bellydancer” “I would like to be a bellydancer” “I don’t get anything wrong when I bellydance” “I don’t make mistakes when I dance” “I am not afraid” and such… Do you notice they are powerless? that they focus on what you don’t want? Bingo! Avoid it 😉
On a final note: the way to built up good affirmations may also help you in your everyday speech, this is called being assertive.
If you want to be listened to, if you want respect for your ideas you simply have to sell them as if they are worthy of what you want.
If you start off with lines like “It’s only my opinion but…” or if you giggle at the end of your words in order not to offend anyone… what you are showing is that you don’t believe in what you say. Example time:
“It’ only my opinion, but I think that this pizza isn’t that bad”
“Hey, this pizza is good!”
Do I need further explanation? Ok, now think about applying this at work, at school, with your family… It’s so much easier to get what you want simply by asking, really asking, for it, without begging, without yelling, without being rude!
A couple of links to dig deeper!
Affirmations
Assertiveness
sei la mia consulente filosofica preferita :*